Father of 8, Grandfather of 20, Great Grandfather of 3

I am proud to be daughter in-law to John J. Messina.  He will be greatly missed, but a little piece of him remains within all of us.

I first met him in 1981.  Vin and I were leaving for dinner and he came out and cleaned the headlights on Vin's car while asking him if he had enough gas in the car.  Vin chuckled and I said, "oh Vin, he's so cute."  Year after year I learned that his statements or lectures were of sincere concern.  His concern for his children’s well being was always a priority for him.  When I was pregnant with my twins, he spoiled me with decaffeinated soda, orange sherbet, plants and more.  He made my mother in-law (Carol) call me daily to see how I was feeling.  He and my mother in-law were our biggest support in those first years of new parenting. 

After mom passed away, it was our turn to take care of him.  His sons, their wives, his daughter, and grandchildren, gave him the attention and care that he well deserved.  We wrote his bills, drove him to appointments, fed him meals, brought him clothes, and cleaned his home without complaint.  It was our pleasure to make sure he was happy and healthy.  Vin loved to cook him an Italian meal on Sundays.  It became tradition over the years.  He always showed up with bags of pasta and whatever else he found on sale at the supermarket.  Even if he saw a yard sale along the way we would inherit something from that as well.  When he was no longer able to drive, Joe and Diane (son and daughter in-law) would bring him up to our home.  When he was no longer able to shop for us he would reach into his pockets and give the boys a couple of bucks.  He could no longer bring me flowers, as he did for no special reason, but this one day before Joe came to pick him up, he picked some flowers from his back yard and wrapped them in a wet paper towel.  When he handed them to me I wanted to cry.  It was the best bouquet that I have ever received.

When Joseph got sick we saw the concern on dads face.  He worried about him and us constantly.  He made many trips into the hospital and would leave puzzled as to why this would happen to a young child.  When Joseph died he had a hard time finding comfort with this grief.  As part of getting dressed everyday, he would put a picture of Joseph in his shirt pocket.  He'd come to my house and look at Josephs pictures and shake his head.  He loved watching the JBB Project grow in his memory.  He once said to me, "Gosh... how do you keep coming up with this stuff?"  I assured him that Joseph was my biggest helper at making cancer fun and I can't NOT share that with others.  Well, I'm sad that dad didn't get to be here when the JBB book gets published, but in dads memory, his friends and family have already helped with funds for publishing.

Dad, you will be missed, but thank you for leaving such a big family behind to pass on traditions and thoughtfulness, taught by you and mom.  May you rest in peace with your loving wife, sons John and Paul, and Grandson, our little Joseph.